Good-bye my Loooove!

You should go off of Instagram I tell myself almost daily. No no, I argue it’s fine. Plus, I keep doing that. People will think I have a problem and that I can’t handle my social media self. But it’s true, you can’t I argue back. *Self proceeds to scroll through random strangers crap, memes etc for far too long then closes IG saying ‘wasting your life girl’ or something cool and sad like that.

When I’m finally willing to listen to myself I realize I’m right.

Here’s the general state of affairs I find myself in these days: kinda low, kinda anxious, unsure of what brings me joy anymore, reading all of a paragraph or a page from a book/day making it impossible to get through any book, kinda bored, kinda feeling like it’s time for a shift. Now I’m not blaming instagram or social media at all here, but rather I’ve been using them as a form of escape for far too long.

I have 3 small kids. I am in 'a stage of life' if you will that can lend itself to the previously mentioned state of affairs I can find myself in. And lets be honest I need treats and good things to keep me going and I’m a huge believer and advocator of both. But what’s a treat and what’s an escape? I’m not delving into the idea that wine is an escape just yet-one thing at a time, one thing at a time. But sometimes you just know that in order to make room for new things…even just new or different mental space something has got to give.

In this case it’s the thing that has been occupying too many hours of my day-my darned addiction to social media (instagram to be specific...fb doesn't do it for me anymore...but if she too starts acting up, she gone). IG is just not bringing the joy. It’s not bringing the life. It’s sucking both from me right now.

It’s summer. The hubby is finally off work and the fam gets to be together a lot more. Plus, I’d like to go into the fall with some fresh vision-largely as a result of giving myself some room to see what’s in front of me and around me again.

Yet, I can still feel silly about it. It’s just instagram afterall. But this crap is addicting! And that’s science.

Here's to putting it 'out there' (hello accountability!) and here's to new things. Writing more? Reading more? Who knows. Trusting something more will come.

So maybe I’ll see you again IG, that is, if I can figure out how to form a boundary or two. And have a good rest of your summer ‘friends’. I hope I don’t miss out on too many really cool things. Text me, k?? Oh you don’t have my number? Cause you have no idea who I am. K…cool, byeeee.

A cool pic of a sunrise shared in an Instagram story awhile back.