Have you seen my mojo?

I appear to have lost my mojo. For this danged diet. I definitely hit a wall this week. That should teach me for declaring how good things were going! I am still not having any food cravings and have noticed a stable mood. However, my digestion is still the pits. So now to dig a little deeper. Which makes an already daunting process that much more daunting. I feel like I'm in this for the long haul-if I said that before I was just being nice...assuming I'd be eating everything again come summer-ish. Now I feel like this could be fo'eva. I'm being dramatic, but it could be a lot more trial and error than I was hoping for. 

But, that's also OK. I'm in it now...taking 'the plunge' was so much easier and less scary than I thought it would be. I really don't give much thought to what I can't have, unless it's right in front of me. And more than that, I am able to process this out. I don't have to live with whatever ails me. I have the ability and means to seek out answers. So I am. I'm needing to 'speak' this out. To remind myself after a hard week that I am onto something, even if I don't yet know what that is. I have a couple ideas as to what it could be, but I will save that for another post.

So, no pictures today. I'm too tired and busy...I'm making food for a weekend away at a retreat. Where everyone else will be having good delicious snacks and food. This will be an ultimate test to my will! Which is weak at best:). So if you think of it, send some prayers or good vibes my way!

Week One: Done!

I am officially a week deep and to be honest it is going a lot better than I thought. I've never done anything this challenging before. Yet at the same time I'm feeling good. I'm not fighting my body if that makes sense? I'm not fighting cravings or even mood swings. I feel very steady...which for that to be so noticeable probably means I wasn't the steadfast rock that I thought myself to be. Haha haaaaa.

I have actually enjoyed my time in the kitchen trying a few things out this week. I often find myself pulling back from the internets and all the opinions that ensue, but in this instance I am so thankful for the people who think up crazy recipes and then put them on pinterest. Also so thankful for friends who are walking the same path and can pass their wisdoms onto me. A couple interesting things I've tried this week are 'faux'tmeal (fake oatmeal made from acorn squash, shredded coconut and coconut milk), and' no-mato' sauce (tomato free tomato sauce). I think I might like the names more than the actual foods but I'm enjoying the creativity and options that are out there.

On Wednesday I went to our local natural meats store and stocked up on some good meats, which naturally means bacon. So breakfasts have been a light in my life again. It's hard to not eat typical breakfast foods or breakfast. Or to have coffee. Have I mentioned that already?? I love having a cup of coffee in the morning.  I found the weekend to be tough for that. However, a dandy cup of dandy blend is not the worst thing.

Two things have stuck out to me so far. One is how many times in a day I will pop something into my mouth because it is in front of me. The amount of times I've almost done this is staggering. The second thing is hunger. We do not let ourselves feel it. The idea of this 'diet' is in no way to starve myself. But part of it is to eat in one sitting and not graze all day, as to let my digestion take a break at times. Plus, with less carbs in my diet i'm finding hunger hits sooner after a meal. It's an uncomfortable feeling that maybe I have been almost afraid of before. And one that I can see I'm unintentionally passing down to my kids. It's something to press into and think more about that's for sure.

On a different note, this past week I've been reading various people's food journey stories. I love hearing the stories of how people get to where they are and why. So I was thinking it might be fun to do a post on my food 'journey', AKA the reason i'm in this hot mess. Jk, not so dramatic, but it could be interesting to see what unfolds as I look back.

Time to slave over some plantains that I will undoubtedly eat in about 5 minutes. Stayed tuned for a post and pics on some of the goodness that I have been eating.

Day 2

I'm two days in. Here's what i'm noticing so far. This is not my favourite thing to do! Day one sucked. Day two sucked even worse. That's only partially true. Day one is day one. The first day. Anything is doable the first time around. You don't know what to expect and you just do it. Day two on the other hand. That solidifies things a bit more. You are now in it. The words quit and cheat wafted through my head quite a bit today. Yet, since i'm feeling 'in it' now I've decided I want to do this well. I only want to do something this extreme once. There will never be a good time either. And since I'm in it, I'm committed. That also kind of makes me want to weep. I'm so uninspired in the kitchen and I feel like I'm out of ideas already. Ha ha. There is a groove I have yet to find. I also need to find my papers that tell me what I can and can't eat...those might come in handy. Especially since I had like 10 pieces of watermelon last night and I don't even know if I can have it or not. I meant to check today but can't find those papers anywhere. Always err on the side of caution I did not say last night.

There is a lot of thought and prep that goes into this. With two young kids that adds a whole other dimension. It is a ton easier when we can all eat the same things, and we usually did. I'm finding breakfasts and lunch tough. Dinner is dinner...it's easy to eat meat and veggies for dinner. Less so for breakfast. And snacks. It took me 40 minutes to make a snack this evening. It never used to take me that long to open up a bag of chips!

Here's the worst. Dandy Blend. Instead of my beloved aero-pressed coffee. Dandy Blend is fine if you want to drink a cup of dandy blend. But it's not coffee. It's just not. Here it is looking so deceiving.

It's only day two. I'm in the thick of withdrawals. Yet, in the midst of those withdrawals was a beautiful (almost) hot day out! We got a last minute invite to eat lunch at a friends place and dinner at another's. It was more than I knew I needed today. And despite some (a lot) of tiredness and a bit (a ton) of irritability my body is feeling good. So here's hoping we're on to something:)

So it Begins...

I am just a night's sleep away from starting this crazy huge food elimination diet. It's a 30 day elimination, which will proceed for months beyond the initial 30 days as I reintroduce foods back into my diet. It feels daunting and overwhelming. I have never denied myself much (I generally eat well and would consider myself to be a healthy person) but this girl can justify just about anything. For instance today alone I've had 2 cups of coffee, cake, ice-cream, wine, chips,  pretzels and chocolate. All in the name of deprivation tomorrow of course. That being said, I may lack discipline. 

That's where this blog comes in! I'm hoping that writing will help to not only hold me accountable but to see the humour on those days when I'll be tempted to rip my face off from frustration and limitation. This and mentally telling myself every day that I am doing a good thing for my body. Healing my digestion (which has had me not feeling great, tired and not digesting food well for awhile now). Short term (?) pain for long term gain (?). I don't think I'm convinced yet. But I'm trusting that I will be and that I will feel better. That I will have rocking rock solid two's and that I will have energy for my kids, who tend to suck it for them tiny selves.

This elimination is a paleo diet on steroids (an autoimmune paleo elimination). I do not have an autoimmune disease-the purpose is to eliminate everything the first time around, pay attention to your body, heal your digestion and figure out how foods affect you. So I will be eating good quality meats, cooked veggies, most fruits, good fats and white rice. My first fail has already happened when I went to buy white rice-and bought Calrose rice. What the H is that? In not my defence it was clearly labelled. It also has corn syrup in it. So fail one, on day negative one.  

So here goes...after I finish eating my Lindt dark chocolate easter chocolates. I would hate for them to tempt me tomorrow.