Serena, Pregnancy Brain and too many 2's

Today was a long day in life/parenting. Most days are, but this one was especially nutty. It was a solo parenting day as Erich worked all day/evening. The story begins with a bit of a back story...

Have you met Serena? She's met a few of you in person as well as on instagram. She's the newest addition to our family. Well actually she's been in a box in the basement for a few years now. That is, until Elliot spotted her and with instant affection for this doll, asked if she could have her. I couldn't say no.

She loves Serena for a number of reasons. Most of which we don't understand. Serena is a big girl who can stand by herself. She also plays music, which is a bit of a thrill. Elliot has this beautiful heart that just loves deeply. I pray in all seriousness that she maintains this innocence towards things and see's past what the world will tell you is ugly (or terrifying in Serena's case).

Because let me tell you something, Hollywood makes movies about dolls like Serena. Serena came with a baby and as you play the music Serena is supposed to 'rock' the baby. But, being a few decades old some of her joints if you want to call them that have loosened up. Her body now swivels around. It just spins. We've also crazy glued her legs on (after Elliot spent the night with Serena's body and both legs separately in bed we thought that maybe we should).  She is just a creepy girl. And Elliot loves her. She also gets a lot of attention for her-one day she'll get it, but for now I think she thinks that everyone just loves Serena as much as she does. Bless her heart.

Today Elliot wanted to bring Serena with her to show my midwife (there's always a public element to things like this). Elliot proudly shows the midwife Serena. Bennett follows suit and shows his nee-nee. Which is his beloved monkey-blanky. Nee-Nee is disgusting. Nee-Nee is heavy from hanging out in Ben's mouth 90% of the time. I had to wonder if the state of my home was in question. I had a meeting right after this appointment and again Ellie and Ben proudly display their beloveds. The woman we met with graciously (and hilariously) carried the doll who carried the nee-nee around the office. Ha! The kids were beaming.

That was our morning. This afternoon I lost my phone somewhere in Dollarama...after saying out loud to the kids that I better not leave my phone on a shelf! Someone thankfully turned it in to an employee, but it set me back and I had to be somewhere and didn't get the coffee I was 'needing'. It was almost enough to make this hormonal pregnant woman cry. I held it together. But then proceeded to leave my phone at the next destination. UGH. My brain.

Now, let me recap dinner. I ate my dinner ice-cold and it took 50 minutes to eat. Bennett (a week potty trained) made 5 trips to the bathroom and one to the hallway. Elliot just one, but it was poo so it involved me being needed. That's 7 bathroom trips, all of which involved my presence and help...at dinner.

Bennett starts it all off with a false poop alarm. But there were skid marks, so I said take the underwear off and just wear your shorts. The next one I told him to go by himself and get on the toilet (which he can). But instead, he accidentally locked himself in the bathroom and pooped his pants. So gross. Diaper on-because it's getting close to bedtime and we wear one for bed, so I was saving myself some work and being proactive. Then he had to pee, he drags the potty into the hall (?), I take off his diaper and then get yelled at because he needs privacy. Next we have another false poop alarm. Same time Elliot has to go-downstairs she goes, which means I'm on wipe duty (that's gotta stop soon right?!). Then Bennett has to go again, this time he goes. Diaper back on. Done. Nope, one more pee. Oh my stars! I'm supposed to be eating dinner here people!! I'm tired. Plus, I'm large. Getting up-especially at the end of a long day is a feat! That also doesn't include the other half dozen times I had to get up just for the regular requests.

My hands are raw from the washing. My nerves, well, they're always kinda raw.

Elliot Jane and the Curse of the Purse

I wasn't quite ready to wake up from my nap. Elliot, however, was done having her quiet time. She wasn't listening to my request to go and play for a few more minutes until her brother woke up. I was lying in bed wishing the nap could go on and that the whining would stop and she was on the floor-as this is the place to be when things aren't going your way. She was (evidently) playing with a minnie mouse kinder surprise toy that had from the start caused her nothing but grief as it never stayed together. In hind sight we should've just thrown it out (hind sight, ha!!). She had already shed many irrational tears over the frustration of this toy. 

All of a sudden she gets up in a panic saying 'I can't get the purse out, I can't get the purse out! The purse is stuck in my nose!'  For starters, WHAT?! Secondly, you put things in your nose?? The kid who as a baby never put anything in her mouth, nose, ears etc. I have never once worried about her. I'm sure if we had lego when she was a baby I wouldn't have batted an eye at her playing with it because she just never put things in her orfaces. 

I'm awake now. We tried blowing, nothing. I tried pepper to make her sneeze, nothing. I tried seeing it with a flashlight, nothing. I'm beginning to really hope we are not becoming a little person who lies for attention because I am resorting to having to take you to emerg to see if they can extract this bloody purse and I would really rather not. 

We go. Now, if you know me you know how vomit completely undoes me and sends me irrationally disinfecting surfaces in my house. So naturally, upon arriving 2 of the 4 triage seats have those kidney shaped bowls of vomit sitting on them. Great. While sitting there trying to position myself to not see them we get to listen to someone puking in the washroom (that's how loud it was) for about 5 minutes. I'm officially nauseous. And I'm thinking that there had better be a purse in your nose or that maybe since it's not bothering you AT ALL you could just live with this little extra.

We wait for a good hour and a half. In that time I think she touched her mouth about one thousand times. Sigh. Here's Elliot killing time and being silly, I was taking pictures and praying against the hospital germs.

We finally get into the back and the doctor comes right away. He looks up her nose and can't see anything either. I'm thinking please be up there or this is nuts! Then he says 'there is one more thing we can try before having to do an x-ray'. He tells me to plug her other nostril and cover her mouth with mine and blow really hard. I went ahead and added that statement to the list of things I never thought I'd hear.  

You want my mom to do what?!

I stood there for about a minute with a stupid 'are you serious?' grin on my face wondering if he just suggested what I thought he suggested. He had. So...I did it. A huge glob of snot shot out and hit my cheek. I wiped it off and low and behold a tiny purse had emerged. The doctor and I shared a laugh at the absurdity. Now if only we could both erase the memory...

Reunited and it feels so good!

Elliot was a trooper. I'm relieved the purse was there because at least that means she's not becoming a tiny little liar. We decided a date was in order so off to Pita Pit we went. I ordered her the same pita she devoured the last time we were there. Of course she didn't like it this time. I am reminded for the second time that day that toddlers truly are irrational human beings.